


Nefarious and Qwark

by AWildTrashCan



Category: Ratchet & Clank
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Character Development, Eventual Friendship, Friendship, Humor, May end up with an actual plot, Maybe - Freeform, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, Series of loosely connected one-shots, Takes place in gameverse, who knows - Freeform, with the occasional story arc
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 07:30:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8319193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AWildTrashCan/pseuds/AWildTrashCan
Summary: If you told them that they would eventually become friends, they would have laughed.
But the universe seems to have a wonderful sense of humor, doesn't it?





	

**Author's Note:**

> (Takes place post-A4O, pre-FFA)
> 
> This story right here was written because of my intense desire for possible-hero Nefarious, much needed character interactions, and constant procrastination of homework. This will be a series of loosely connected (slice of life)one-shots based off of sentence starters with possible story arcs depending on if I'm able to write them properly. If all goes well, this may even become an epic romantic action comedy space opera! I'll just have to get the "epic romantic action comedy" parts down first.
> 
> Fair warning here, updates will be sporadic depending on school and daily life. I'm also very fickle when it comes to my own work, so many things are up to change and I may edit a previous chapter depending on how I feel the story is going. These edits can range from the chapter notes, a sentence or two, to an entire chapter if I feel the need. I will notify about any edits in the chapter notes.
> 
> This chapter's starter comes from: http://captainamericarogers.tumblr.com/post/97394128397/emperors-new-groove-sentence-starters

**“It’s like I’m talking to a monkey. A really big, _stupid_ monkey.”**

 

It was supposed to be a regular day in the recently constructed Nefarious Weapons Research and Testing Facility, a building designated to him in order to his fulfill his duties as the newly appointed Weapons Engineer of the Q-Force. Nefarious had been minding his own business, already well on his way towards designing his latest invention, a gun that could amplify the user’s voice to form sonic bullets. The prototype was created and ready for testing, and he was already in the practice range with Lawrence off to the side to record the results.

 

“Okay, Hypersonic Megaphone Prototype-I, Trial 1. Are you ready, Lawrence?”

 

“Of course, sir. Carry on.” Receiving a nod of approval, Nefarious raised the megaphone to his mouth, finger squeezing the trigger.

 

“Bre-“

 

“HEY, Nefarious!”

 

That was until the oh-so-wonderful Galactic President Qwark decided he would pay Nefarious a visit and insisted on making his presence behind him known with a shout.

 

Right into the microphone of the gun.

 

The resulting shockwave flew to the side of the target and hit the wall. It rebounded across the room, the recoil knocking Nefarious back and into Qwark’s chest. Anything not bolted onto the tables was flung into the air, and the weaker glass constructs shattered, covering the ground in shards.

 

As the dust settled, Nefarious simply stared at the gaping hole in the wall. Beside him, Qwark let out a low whistle. “Wow, that’s one heck of a gun you’ve made, Nefarious!”

 

“Excellent work, sir. The current model seems to be functioning properly,” Lawrence stated, scribbling notes onto a clipboard, “Although I do recommend adjusting the volume output. We can’t afford to have the windows replaced every time it’s used, after all.”

 

Ignoring him, Nefarious whipped around to face the intruder. “Qwark! What did I say about walking in here without knocking?!”

 

“Aw, lighten up, Nefarious. I was just passing through and decided to pay a visit to my favorite mad scientist!” He said, brushing a stray glass shard off of the robot’s shoulder. He brought an arm around Nefarious and pulled him closer, paying no attention to personal space.

 

Nefarious shoved Qwark away and glared harshly. “I live eight miles away from any populated area! What do you _mean_ you were just passing through?!” He stormed towards the lounge, hoping to lead Qwark away from the testing range before any further damage could be done. The green-clad idiot had been here for only five minutes and he could already feel his processors begin to hurt. Nefarious spent five more minutes trying to chase out Qwark, but he could only go so long before resorting to just hurling petty insults.

 

And now said monkey was currently lounging on the couch, feet propped on the coffee table, completely oblivious to the heated glare coming from the mad doctor. “Now that’s harsh,” he lifted a hand to his chest, feigning injury. “I came all the way here to your little lab and this is the thanks I get? It’s not everyday that you get the chance to see this handsome face.”

 

“I don’t want to see your face anywhere! Especially inside my station!” Nefarious was considering already breaking his contract and blasting Qwark into the Solana Galaxy. If he had known he’d have to put up with him constantly, he would have incinerated the blasted thing.

 

“Hey now, you do remember that I was generous enough to give you this place, right?” Qwark thrust a finger into Nefarious’ chest, which the doctor smacked away. “It’s technically mine, I’ve just decided to let you use it for your own work!” he said, waving his arm with a flourish.

 

“After all, you’re very fortunate that I gave you the option of naming the place on your own instead of the official name,” he said as he brought his hands behind his head and leaned back.

 

“‘Qwark’s Gun Making Factory For Nefarious’ does _not_ count as an official name!” Nefarious could hear the gears in his glass dome whir even faster out of sheer frustration. “For Orvus’ sake, Qwark! This is the fourth time this week! Just tell me what you want!” he barked, stomping his foot on the ground.

 

Qwark brought his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Sheesh, calm down will ya’?” He stood up and walked towards Nefarious. “I came here because I was thinking the other day-“

 

“Wow, what an impressive feat for the hero of the galaxy,” Nefarious said, rolling his eyes.

 

Qwark gave him a look. “Let me finish! Look, I know there’s been a lot of bad blood between us throughout the years, but… I really do think we should make up for it and get to know each other better.” He began to shuffle his feet nervously, his demeanor becoming sheepish. “My schedule is free this weekend and so that’s why,” he looked around the room, as if thinking of a way to word his thoughts without getting shot afterwards, “I wanted to ask you if you’d like to hang out sometime.” He brought his hand to his head, brushing back his antenna in an attempt to seem composed. “You know. Go on a drive to Meridian City. See a movie. Something like that.” He looked back at the scientist. “So, what do you say Nefarious?”

 

Nefarious was, to say the least, dumbfounded. He had been expecting that Qwark was going to ask for a favor, what with the frequent overly friendly visits that usually ended with him pointing a gun at Qwark for him to leave, but _this_?

 

Picking his jaw off the floor, Nefarious turned away and crossed his arms. “No.”

 

“Awesome! Now we-“ Qwark’s mind had to backtrack. “Wait, ‘no’? What do you mean ‘no’? Why not?” He was not expecting Nefarious to reject his invitation.

 

“ _Because_ , Qwark, even though we’re on the same team now, that doesn’t mean I don’t hate you!” Nefarious shrieked. He felt as though he was talking to someone even dumber than monkey. That was, in fact, somewhat true, considering that Qwark’s pet monkey was somehow more capable of running the galaxy than him.

 

He turned on his heel and began walking towards his bedroom, fully intent on locking himself inside until the imbecile got bored and left. Unfortunately for him, Qwark was determined to make him accept, and trailed behind him.

 

“Can’t you just trust me for this?” he whined, throwing his arms into the air.

 

“Not really,” Nefarious waved him off, “you change sides with the flip of a light switch, so I have no reason to trust you more than now.”

 

Suddenly, Qwark hurled himself forward, grabbing onto Nefarious’ leg and nearly knocking the both of them over. “Just give me a chance at least!”

 

Nefarious strained to continue walking forward with the added weight. “I- think- you’ve- had- _plenty_!” he hissed, every other step requiring more effort to move.

 

“Please! One chance is all I need to set things right for once! I can’t fail at something as simple as friendship!” he begged, ignoring the fact that he was being dragged across the floor.

 

After attempting to move several feet forward, Nefarious gave up and let out a groan, arms falling to his sides. “FINE! If you want to hang out that badly, then let’s go!” he shouted, glaring daggers at the man below him. “I’ll give you one chance to make this right! One chance, or else I’m annihilating you on the spot!” Contract be damned, he wasn’t going to let Qwark mess this up and get away with it scot-free. He had already had enough of that this past decade.

 

Hearing his answer, Qwark leapt up and rested both of hands somewhat forcefully on the scientist’s shoulders, nearly engulfing the robot’s smaller frame. “Oh, thank you Nefarious! You have no idea how much this means to me!” Spinning around, the superhero began bounding towards the entrance of the facility. “Don’t you worry about a thing!” he yelled, waving goodbye, “I’ll make this the best weekend you’ve ever had! Hero’s honor!” and left Nefarious staring at the swinging doors.

 

As the captain ran outside, Lawrence walked past him, casting a worried look towards his employer. “Are you sure that was a good idea, sir?”

 

Nefarious resumed the previous walk towards his room. “No, Lawrence.” He opened the door and walked inside, mentally exhausted from what had just occurred and regretting all of his life choices. “Not at all.”

 

He promptly faceplanted onto his bed before the door even closed.

**Author's Note:**

> (For those who don't know, the Hypersonic Megaphone is pretty much the Megaphone Hacking Gun from Danganronpa Another Episode. I also apologize if this chapter seems weak. This is my first published fic, so it may take a while to write the characters, well, in-character as much as a fanfic can.)
> 
> So how was that for an introduction chapter? The first two or three chapters will be connected as a pseudo-introductory arc in order to settle into the one-shots later on. Although this is my first fanfic, this isn't the first fan content I've made. For those of you who are curious, I have made a R&C video on Youtube. Channel name is the same as this one! (Insert shameless self-plug here).
> 
> Now that's enough of my ramblings, I've probably taken up too much space in the notes here.
> 
> If you have any questions, suggestions or just want to talk, feel free to comment. Any criticism is welcome as long as it's constructive.


End file.
